Monday, April 21, 2008

"My Beautiful Mommy"

For those of you who thought "Mommy's Visit to the Tattoo Parlor" was an April Fool's Day joke (and I have to admit, I thought it was too, especially since I was the one making it), Newsweek reports that there is a book about Mommy's visit to the plastic surgeon:

"My Beautiful Mommy" is aimed at kids ages four to seven and features a plastic surgeon named Dr. Michael (a musclebound superhero type) and a girl whose mother gets a tummy tuck, a nose job and breast implants. Before her surgery the mom explains that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael is going to help fix that and make me feel better." Mom comes home looking like a slightly bruised Barbie doll with demure bandages on her nose and around her waist.

Doesn't she look really, really pretty and sparkly? The book is self-published by a plastic surgeon wanting to help his "mommy-makeover" patients explain the procedure to their little tykes.

Yes, Johnny, carrying you around in my tummy for nine months, the last of which I thought my skin would break, and nursing you (see Milk Pistols) so long that my breasts came to be on speaking terms with my knees, well, that totally, totally ruined Mommy's body. It's all your fault, and I wouldn't exactly say you're not WORTH it, but Dr. Michael will make it all better.
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Now playing: John Mayer - Gravity
via FoxyTunes

6 comments:

PJ Hoover said...

This is just humorous!

Susan said...

When I lived in Dallas I knew some women (not friends) who got breast implants when their sons were teenagers. What message does that send to boys? I definitely thought it was CREEPY.

HipWriterMama said...

This is so crazy.

caraf said...

She IS sparkly! Do you think those sparkles float around with her all the time, and the butterflies too? Just like "Pigpen" in the Charlie Brown cartoons?

PJ Hoover said...

Caraf, your comment is hilarious!

Sara Latta said...

I want to get me some sparkles like that.